{"id":1434,"date":"2025-08-31T13:34:35","date_gmt":"2025-08-31T11:34:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stephaniedoe.fr\/?p=1434"},"modified":"2025-12-12T16:16:56","modified_gmt":"2025-12-12T15:16:56","slug":"1434","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stephaniedoe.fr\/index.php\/2025\/08\/31\/1434\/","title":{"rendered":"BDSM et consentement"},"content":{"rendered":"

Journ\u00e9e internationale contre les violences faites aux femmes : BDSM et consentement<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Comprendre pour se prot\u00e9ger, choisir pour s\u2019\u00e9manciper<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Chaque ann\u00e9e, le 25 novembre, la Journ\u00e9e internationale pour l\u2019\u00e9limination des violences faites aux femmes rappelle l\u2019urgence de sensibiliser \u00e0 toutes les formes d\u2019abus. Dans ce contexte, parler de BDSM peut sembler paradoxal.
\nComment \u00e9voquer une pratique associ\u00e9e \u00e0 la contrainte, \u00e0 la douleur ou \u00e0 la domination dans une journ\u00e9e d\u00e9di\u00e9e \u00e0 la lutte contre les violences\u202f?<\/span><\/span>
\nJustement, c\u2019est l\u00e0 tout l\u2019enjeu\u202f! D<\/strong><\/span><\/span>istinguer les pratiques \u00e9rotiques libres et consenties des violences d\u00e9guis\u00e9es sous couvert de \u00ab\u202fsexualit\u00e9 transgressive\u202f\u00bb.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Loin de l\u2019imaginaire sulfureux v\u00e9hicul\u00e9 par la culture populaire, le BDSM constitue pour beaucoup un espace d\u2019exploration consciente du corps, du pouvoir et du plaisir. Mais il arrive aussi que des agresseurs utilisent ce vocabulaire pour\u00a0<\/span><\/span>l\u00e9gitimer des comportements abusifs.
\n<\/span><\/span><\/strong>Ils <\/span><\/span>transforment une pr\u00e9tendue \u00ab\u202flibert\u00e9 sexuelle\u202f\u00bb en terrain d\u2019exploitation ou d\u2019emprise.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Quand la violence se masque sous le mot \u201clibert\u00e9\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Les discours autour de la sexualit\u00e9 positive, des pratiques alternatives ou du consentement permettent un \u00e9largissement des normes. Pourtant, cette ouverture comporte un revers\u202f: certaines personnes mal intentionn\u00e9es s\u2019en emparent pour s\u00e9duire, manipuler ou dominer.<\/span><\/span>
\nSous des formulations s\u00e9duisantes \u2013 \u00ab\u202fexp\u00e9rimentation\u202f\u00bb, \u00ab\u202fjeu\u202f\u00bb, \u00ab\u202fsoumission \u00e9rotique\u202f\u00bb \u2013 se cachent parfois des\u00a0<\/span><\/span>dynamismes violents<\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u202f. Absence de cadre, non-respect du refus, culpabilisation de la victime…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Savoir diff\u00e9rencier une relation de confiance d\u2019une relation d\u2019emprise devient alors un acte de protection et de lucidit\u00e9.<\/span><\/span>
\nDans le <\/span><\/span>BDSM<\/span><\/span><\/strong>, le pouvoir est avant tout un jeu de r\u00f4le. Il est n\u00e9goci\u00e9 et donne \u00e0 chacun la possibilit\u00e9 de dire non \u00e0 tout moment.<\/span><\/span>
\nLa douleur, la soumission, la contrainte y sont\u00a0<\/span><\/span>mises en sc\u00e8ne. <\/span><\/span><\/strong>Elle sont <\/span><\/span>encadr\u00e9es par des codes pr\u00e9cis, des mots de s\u00e9curit\u00e9 et une communication permanente.<\/span><\/span>
\nQuand ces dimensions disparaissent,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>il ne s\u2019agit plus de BDSM<\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u202f: c\u2019est de la violence.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

La cl\u00e9 du consentement<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Le consentement n\u2019est pas qu\u2019un simple \u00ab\u202foui\u202f\u00bb. C’est un <\/span><\/span>processus actif<\/span><\/span><\/strong>, renouvelable et r\u00e9vocable. Il inclut la possibilit\u00e9 de dire non, de se tromper, de changer d\u2019avis. Il implique la transparence, le respect et une responsabilit\u00e9 partag\u00e9e.<\/span><\/span>
\nOr, beaucoup de femmes peinent \u00e0 identifier les nuances entre une relation ou pratique librement choisie et une situation o\u00f9 leur d\u00e9sir est confondu ou recouvert par celui de l’autre.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Dans une soci\u00e9t\u00e9 o\u00f9 le d\u00e9sir f\u00e9minin reste souvent associ\u00e9 \u00e0 la complaisance ou au service de l\u2019autre, apprendre \u00e0 dire \u00ab\u202fje choisis\/ je d\u00e9sire\u202f\u00bb plut\u00f4t que \u00ab\u202fje consens \u00e0 \/ je subis\u202f\u00bb devient un acte d\u2019\u00e9mancipation.<\/span><\/span>
\nLe BDSM, lorsqu\u2019il est pratiqu\u00e9 dans un cadre <\/span><\/span>SSC <\/span><\/span><\/strong>(S\u00fbr, Sain et Consensuel) peut \u00eatre un terrain d\u2019affirmation et de connaissance de soi.<\/span><\/span>
\nMalheureusement, quand ces rep\u00e8res manquent, les d\u00e9rives peuvent au contraire accentuer la confusion, les relations d’emprise ou la r\u00e9activation de traumas anciens.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Reprendre le pouvoir de dire \u201coui\u201d et \u201cnon\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Pour de nombreuses femmes, parler de sexualit\u00e9 ou de pratiques BDSM est encore associ\u00e9 \u00e0 la peur d\u2019\u00eatre jug\u00e9es, ou \u00e0 la crainte d\u2019\u00eatre incomprises.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\nCertains r\u00e9cits th\u00e9rapeutiques montrent \u00e0 quel point\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>les violences sexuelles d\u00e9guis\u00e9es en pratiques alternatives<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong> sont insidieuses. La victime pense \u00eatre \u201cconsentante\u201d, alors qu\u2019elle n\u2019a jamais eu les \u00e9l\u00e9ments n\u00e9cessaires pour un r\u00e9el choix \u00e9clair\u00e9.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Reconna\u00eetre la diff\u00e9rence entre\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>se soumettre par d\u00e9sir<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u00a0et\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00eatre soumise par contrainte <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong>est un enjeu majeur d\u2019\u00e9ducation et de pr\u00e9vention.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\nC\u2019est aussi un moyen de r\u00e9habiliter le corps comme espace de confiance. Et non comme champ de bataille et de n\u00e9gociation.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Les b\u00e9n\u00e9fices de cette compr\u00e9hension d\u00e9passent largement le cadre des pratiques BDSM\u202f:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n

    permettre \u00e0 toute femme d\u2019identifier les signaux d\u2019alerte dans <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>toute relation intime ou sexuelle<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u202f;<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    renforcer la capacit\u00e9 \u00e0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>poser ses limites, les n\u00e9gocier et les faire respecter<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u202f;<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    ouvrir la voie \u00e0 une sexualit\u00e9 v\u00e9cue dans la conscience, la paix et la responsabilit\u00e9.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    \n

    Un espace pour apprendre sans peur<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

    C\u2019est pour r\u00e9pondre \u00e0 ce besoin d\u2019\u00e9ducation, de discernement et de protection que j\u2019ai choisi d\u2019animer le\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>webinaire \u201cBDSM et consentement\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>le 20 novembre dernier \u00e0 20h.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nUn espace o\u00f9 les participantes ont pu <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>poser des questions, comprendre les dynamiques du consentement et se doter d\u2019outils concrets pour rep\u00e9rer les d\u00e9rives.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

    Au programme\u202f:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    • \n

      Les\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>bases d\u2019un BDSM respectueux<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u202f. Cadre, communication, s\u00e9curit\u00e9.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      Identifier les\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>signes d\u2019une relation toxique<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0ou d\u2019une emprise psychologique.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      Clarifier les croyances autour des jeux BD\u00a7M. C<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>omment la culture du vi*l peut impr\u00e9gner certaines relations<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      Un temps de questions r\u00e9ponses\/r\u00e9flexions<\/strong> cl\u00f4turera cet atelier<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Ce webinaire <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>BDSM et consentement<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong> s\u2019adresse \u00e0 toutes celles qui souhaitent comprendre leurs d\u00e9sirs, red\u00e9finir leurs limites, ou simplement mieux rep\u00e9rer les zones de danger dans leurs exp\u00e9riences affectives ou sexuelles. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Dates 2026 \u00e0 venir.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n

      Une approche ancr\u00e9e dans l\u2019\u00e9coute et la p\u00e9dagogie<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

      En tant que\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>psycho sexoth\u00e9rapeute, autrice et formatrice<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>, j\u2019accompagne depuis plusieurs ann\u00e9es des femmes sur les th\u00e8mes du trauma, du consentement et de la r\u00e9appropriation de leurs sexualit\u00e9s.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
      \nMon approche relie la\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>compr\u00e9hension psychique<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>, l\u2019<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>exp\u00e9rience corporelle<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0et la\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>reprise du pouvoir personnel<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
      \n\u00c0 travers la th\u00e9rapie, du shibari, je constate chaque jour\u202f: <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>plus une femme dispose de rep\u00e8res, moins elle est vuln\u00e9rable<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      Favoriser la culture du consentement, ce n\u2019est pas brider la sexualit\u00e9. C\u2019est au contraire lui redonner toute sa libert\u00e9.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      Webinaire \u00ab\u202fBDSM et consentement\u202f\u00bb \u2013 Informations et inscription<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

      \ud83d\udcc5\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Date\u202f:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong> \u00e0 venir pour 2026<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
      \n\ud83d\udd56\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Heure\u202f:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u00a020h \u2013 dur\u00e9e 1h30<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
      \n\ud83d\udcbb\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Lieu\u202f:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0En ligne (Zoom)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>
      \n\ud83c\udfaf\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Public\u202f:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong> Femmes (cis, non binaire, trans) souhaitant comprendre les dynamiques du consentement et pr\u00e9venir les violences sexuelles<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      Parce qu\u2019une sexualit\u00e9 choisie, respectueuse et consciente n\u2019est pas un luxe\u202f: c\u2019est une forme de r\u00e9sistance et une affirmation de puissance.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0\ud83c\udf3f<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Journ\u00e9e internationale contre les violences faites aux femmes : BDSM et consentement Comprendre pour se prot\u00e9ger, choisir pour s\u2019\u00e9manciper Chaque ann\u00e9e, le 25 novembre, la Journ\u00e9e internationale pour l\u2019\u00e9limination des […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1637,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,10,11,4,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-agenda","category-ateliers-collectifs","category-expertise","category-se-former","category-therapie"],"yoast_head":"\nBDSM et consentement - St\u00e9phanie Doe<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bdsm et consentement: distinguer violences et BDSM. 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